Some days, like today, I kick back and wonder why I let it all happen. She hurts me so much and then she just turns and leaves me laying there battered and bruised on the floor. Instead of walking away from it all, I give her the benefit of a doubt and I stick around. I know she’ll change. There’s more to her than that. I refuse to accept that she’s just out to hurt me. And then when she does, I’m in denial and I refuse to accept that she has already hurt me and doesn’t give two shits about it. People tell me I need to get away from this relationship, it’s not healthy for me. I just need to pack my bags and leave her to fend for herself. I’m too good for the shit she puts me through.

But I’ve been in this relationship for years now and I just can’t leave. She’ll change. One day she’ll realize she does care about me. One day she will stop abusing me and things will be good between us.

Oh, who am I kidding?! Nothing is going to change… it never does…I’m just a glutton for punishment!

The truth is, I’m finally about to break. I can only tolerate so much of this abuse before I turn around and strangle the bitch. She’s beat me down and pissed on my lifeless body for the past 4 years now and I’m finally to the point where I may actually snap on her. Few people have seen me snap… but I can honestly say, those who have have all agreed that I am a very dangerous and scary person when it happens…and it can occur in the blink of an eye. As one of my best friends once told me after he witnessed me snap on some friends after a little good fun got out of hand, “Holy shit dude. Remind me not to piss you off.” Anyway… I’m posting this for the sole reason that I finally have realized how much she has abused me, and while I’m not completely getting out of the relationship, I’m no longer letting my guard down. She will not win again.

Now the funny thing is how many of you are sitting here reading this trying to figure out when I got a girlfriend…some of you may be jumping to conclusions and casting judgement upon my ex…and some of you may be trying to figure out when and how I was being abused in this relationship.

…you’ll just have to figure that one out for yourself…